Resource Aid Center

6 min read · Last updated August 24, 2026

In this article

• The envelope on the entryway table
• What to do in the first 72 hours
• The deadline itself, and what a counter-petition can do
• The mistake that costs people their case
• What to do if you already missed it
• At 30, 60, and 90 days
• Frequently asked questions

Dana Whitfield had exactly 30 days to respond after a process server taped a manila envelope to her apartment door on a Tuesday afternoon, a proof-of-service page tucked inside behind the petition. Her husband had filed for divorce three weeks earlier without telling her, and missing that 30-day window would mean losing her say in how the case came out.

The envelope on the entryway table

Being formally served starts a clock that runs whether or not you open the envelope right away. The date on the proof-of-service page, not the date the case was filed, is what every later deadline counts from. Read that page first, before the petition itself, so you know exactly which day the clock started.

What to do in the first 72 hours

Calendar your response deadline immediately. Call your state court’s self-help center, or a family law attorney if you can afford one, before you decide anything else. Waiting to see if your spouse “isn’t serious” is the single costliest reaction available to you right now, because the deadline runs the same whether the case feels real to you yet or not.

The deadline itself, and what a counter-petition can do

State	Response deadline after being served
California	30 calendar days
Texas	20 days, then the following Monday
Florida	20 days
Illinois	30 days

An Answer responds directly to what your spouse’s petition asked for, agreeing or disagreeing with each point. A counter-petition goes further: it lets you make your own requests, on property, custody, or support, rather than only reacting to your spouse’s. Illinois Legal Aid Online describes the counter-petition as its own document containing your own allegations and requests, separate from your Answer. In Florida and Texas, both documents can be filed together, an Answer and a counter-petition side by side, and the counter-petition typically carries its own filing fee.

The mistake that costs people their case

A default judgment. According to California’s own official Summons form, if you do not file your response on time, the court can make orders affecting your marriage, your property, and custody of your children, and it can order you to pay support and attorney fees, all without you present to object. Florida’s courts describe the same mechanic just as plainly: the other party can move forward and set a final hearing, and a judge will decide the case, even if you never participate. This is not a formality. It is the case actually being decided without you in the room.

California also puts automatic protections in place the moment you are served: standard restraining orders, printed directly on the same official Summons form, bar either spouse from draining bank accounts, changing insurance beneficiaries, or moving the children out of state without written consent or a court order. Texas has no statewide version. TexasLawHelp confirms that some large counties, including Bexar, Dallas, and Travis, use their own local standing orders instead, while others, like Harris, do not, so check your own county district clerk’s website rather than assuming you are covered. Money that moves before either spouse has legal cover is exactly the kind of first-week exposure covered in the first 72 hours after a divorce is filed.

What to do if you already missed it

If the deadline has already passed and a default has been entered, every state offers a path to reopen it, though the window is tight. California allows a motion to set aside within six months for mistake or excusable neglect. Texas gives you 30 days from the date the judge signs the default judgment. Illinois also uses a 30-day window from the date on the judgment. File the motion the moment you realize the deadline was missed. Waiting longer only closes the door further. If the case also involves the marital home, the same urgency applies to who covers the mortgage in the 90 days after filing, since a default does not pause that clock either.

At 30, 60, and 90 days

At the response deadline itself, confirm your Answer, and your counter-petition if you are filing one, is both filed with the court and formally served on your spouse or their attorney. At 30 days after that, confirm the case has a scheduling order or a next hearing date, so you know it is actually moving. At 90 days, if temporary orders on support, custody, or who stays in the home have not been requested yet and you need one, ask the court for a temporary hearing rather than waiting for the final decree to sort it out. If your decree eventually restores a former name, the update sequence afterward has its own order, starting with Social Security before any other agency will accept the new name.

Frequently asked questions

What counts as being properly served? Personal delivery of the papers to you, or delivery by mail if you sign an acknowledgment of receipt, both count in most states. If papers were left with someone else or posted publicly because you could not be found, the rules for when your clock starts get more complicated, so confirm the method with the court clerk.

Can I ask for more time to respond? Most states do not offer a simple pre-deadline extension request in their standard self-help materials. The more common path is filing on time, or if you miss it, asking the court afterward to set aside a default judgment for good cause, which is a higher bar than a routine extension.

What if I agree with everything in the petition? Do I still need to respond? Yes. Filing a response protects your right to be heard if anything changes later, and it prevents a default judgment from being entered even if you expect to agree with most terms. Silence is treated as non-response, not agreement.

Does filing a counter-petition cost extra? In most states, yes. A counter-petition is a separate filing from your Answer and typically carries its own court filing fee, on top of any fee already paid to file the original response.

What if I cannot afford a lawyer before the deadline hits? File your response yourself using your state court’s self-represented-litigant forms, even without a lawyer. Missing the deadline is far more damaging than filing a basic response alone. You can still hire an attorney afterward to handle the rest of the case.